The 90 Day Test

Addicts and alcoholics make big decisions sometimes without weighing out the possibilities. Especially during early recovery. It is very common for someone in early recovery to make a decision to move to another state, get into a relationship, or stop working a program once their life is getting a little better. Don't do it! It's a trap. This is old behavior. What we are really doing is looking for something on the outside to help make us feel better, when we really need to be focusing on our interior condition. We try to fill the void that drugs and alcohol used to fill with relationships, geographical cures, jobs and money. It is a recipe for disaster. It is time to reach out for help when you are faced with making a sobriety or life changing choice. Before you decide to impulsively do it, here are some solid suggestions for you to follow. They can help you to stay on track spiritually and save yourself from falling into the trap of old behaviors that seek a false oasis.

1) Talk about its with your sponsor
2) Pray and meditate on it with your Higher Power
3) Talk about its with your home group members
4) Ask yourself what the reasons are for making such a big change at this stage of your sobriety
5) Ask yourself what is wrong with keeping things the way they are
6) Ask yourself if this is old behavior
7) Be honest
8) Ask yourself if this is changing your plans that you have committed to in your recovery
9) Listen to what others have to say and be open and willing to take their suggestions
10) This list is full of good suggestions to follow, but here is the golden rule for this type of thinking. Do the 90 day test. It goes like this. If it was meant to be, and it's part of your Higher Power's plan for you, it will be there for you in 90 days. It will stand the test of time and allow you to focus on you and your recovery for the time being. In 90 days you will know what is right for you. It will either not be so important to you anymore, or it will still be there if it is important. You can make a better and well informed decision with more quality sobriety time under your belt.

The Basics for Serenity and Recovery

Basics

The basics are what you do every day in order to stay sober, centered and balanced. They are the tools you rely on to keep sharp while you are on your spiritual journey. These are the very basic action-based requirements for developing positive change and spiritual fitness. You can check your amount of willingness to change by measuring whether or not you are accomplishing the basics.

1. Prayer and meditation; morning and night; see Morning/Evening Prayer and Meditation post 
2. Contact someone within your 12-step support network.
3. Read two pages of 12-step literature that supports your change. For example: daily readings, daily reflections, 12-step texts.
4. Attend a 12-step support group meeting every week or the amount of times needed.
5. Walk or exercise 5 to 10 minutes per day.
6.  Affirmations and gratitude.

Morning/Evening Prayer and Meditation

Prayer and Meditation: This can be accomplished in a short period of time; five or ten minutes. If you want to go longer than you can, but at least practice 5 or ten minutes in the morning and at night when you are going to sleep. There are no special prayers, religions, or meditations that you need to follow, unless you want to. Your prayer can be to any higher power. You can do it any way you want as long as you include these adapted 12-step principles and considerations in your practice. Thank you, and happy prayer and meditation...

      Morning: 5-10 minutes of prayer and meditation is enough.

-If you have any special prayer this is a good time to say them

-Consider your plans for the day

-Ask your higher power to direct your thinking

-Ask your higher power to divorce you from self-pity, dishonesty and self-seeking motives; your thought process will be on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

-Ask for intuitive thoughts and inspiration when you are facing indecision or confusion about what to  do

-Ask to be helpful to others

-Begin meditation by entering a period of silence. Allow yourself to receive guidance and instruction  during this time.

Night: 5-10 minutes of prayer and meditation is enough.

-Review your day

-Were you resentful, dishonest, selfish or afraid?

-Do you owe an apology to someone?

-Have you kept something to yourself that needs to be discussed with another person?

-Were you kind and loving toward all?

-What could I have done better?

-Was I thinking of myself most of the time, or was I thinking of what I could do for others?

-Was I worrying about the future?

-Was I being negative?

-Ask your higher power for the strength to correct these measures

      -Begin meditation by entering a period of silence. Allow yourself to receive guidance and instruction during this time.

Acceptance: A Principle of Serenity

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change". This is the first phrase in the Serenity Prayer. Notice the word "accept". It plays a critical role in the serenity prayer. Without acceptance, serenity may be impossible. Here is  famous quote from a story published in the Alcoholics Anonymous basic text commonly referred to as the Big Book. The intended audience may be for those who are recovering from a substance use disorder, but it applies to everyone.

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes (Alcoholics Anonymous,pg 449)".

You must only accept those things that you cannot change or control. The things that you can control are your responsibilities. This may sound harsh, but try it for a while and you will see how empowered you become and more serene you will feel. The old saying goes: You can only sweep-up your side of the street. If the other guys street is dirty, than that is on him. He may not want your help, and he might like it being dusty and dirty. That's ok, you can let it go. Trust me, the sooner you can get to changing what is your situation and stop trying to control everyone else, the more serene your life will become. Accepting life on life's terms. This is sometimes easier said than done. It doesn't mean we give up on everything and everyone around us, but it does help us to grow spiritually and learn to accept and see this world for what it is and do our part to make it better. Continue saying the serenity prayer and read acceptance in the morning and whenever you are feeling disturbed. God Bless!